My sister in law was supposed to be married and we were beginning the process of considering prospective grooms.
I was in charge of creating the “marriageable resume”; in English of course.
I thought I did a good job till the time my father in law (henceforth denoted as FIL) happened to review it.
My FIL went ballistic for the resume had a fatal flaw.
Following is the snapshot of the exchanges we had:
FIL (with a loud chuckle): What have you done? This is pathetic.
I (puzzled): What is wrong with it?
FIL: See you have put all statistics correct, except the complexion one.
I: Why? I have put “fair” as her complexion. (FYI, Rashmi, my sister in law, is quite fair for Indian standards)
FIL: You do not understand. Fair means, she is dusky and make up will make her fair.
I: Then do you want me to change it to “very fair”?
FIL (frustrated) : This is not an English grammar class, very fair and fair means the same. You write “gori” in the complexion.
I (flipping out) : “Gori”?
FIL (as if explaining elementary geometry to middle school kids) : Yes write “gori”. Fair, very fair, milky white these things do not convey the fact that she is fair. It is “gori” that would appeal to the imagination of people better.
I (speechless) : ???????
So, Rashmi’s marriage resume said her complexion was “gori”!
“Gori” when translated to English roughly means “Fair Caucasian female”.
Which means, without the façade of make up and beauty products’ induced effects, Rashmi is as fair as a Caucasian female.
Calling her fairness “fair” would be fairly unfair and would not fare well for the welfare of her marriageable prospects.
Alright, so why everyone seeking marriage alliances is looking for gori-s? Why it is a natural logic that “gora-pan” (fairness) is the panacea of all beauty? Isn’t it ironic that the country with one of the richest reserves of circulating black money, black market, black magic still holds everyone sway with its maniac quest of fairness in complexion? This deep, insightful, intelligent blog would uncover why. So sit back and enjoy the ride and for better understanding keep a tube of “Fair and Lovely” handy.
My thesis is very simple. We, the Indians are definitely a racist community as a whole. Therefore, we react to fairness of the skin in a nakedly racist manner. Whether the fascination of the fair skin is something we imbibed in a century of colonial rule or not is immaterial, what is for sure true that we have this fascination deeply etched into our culture. We are indeed racist.
I know we like to believe that Indians are not racist and we have always fought apartheid with passion, stood behind the nations suffering from racial discrimination, voiced our concern with fervor over ill treatments meted out to native settlers in the hands of imperialistic/colonialist iron fisted rules and blah blah…. I agree, when it comes to taking international stands, we have a reasonably respectable track record. But, when it comes to putting matters straight at home, we look the other way.
For generations, we have treated racism as a celebrated exponent of our culture. “Oh no, we just practice casteism, untouchability, communalism, marginalization, alienation….but when did we become racist?” This is what we say in our defense of not being racist. The truth is we are worse, as a society, than the ones adhering to apartheid. After all the color of the skin is on your face and you can distinguish between a fair skinned and a dark skinned. But the mass scale discrimination we show to each other as part our cultural excess baggage makes us the most racial community in the world. And, we have been quick to learn the apartheid as well.
I was married in Patna. The marriage venue was on a road which was called Gardener Road during the British Raj. It was an Indian free zone with markers erected that warned “Dogs and Indians” not allowed. The years of oppressive British rule left India its scars. Most important was the psychological scarring.
India was ruled by foreign forces in the past as well, but no community left an impact as lasting as the British. The Moghuls and Turks conquered by force and ruled by force. It never made the people have this awed image of Moghuls and Turks because they had nothing much to dazzle the natives except for their superior military might. British on the other hand, not only had that military might but captured the imagination because of their superlative administration, economics, advances in science and technology, education, governance and vision. Result was simple. The colonial India did believe that British were a better race. And then, as a by product of this inferior psyche germinated the fascination for the white skin.
So, today how big is this fascination?
According to latest reports the brand “Fair and Lovely” grossed some 500 crores (100 million USD) last year and the total Indian market for fairness products is nearly three times this value, which is a whopping 1500 crores (300 million USD). So, it is fair to assume that fairness is big buck business. So it is indeed a million dollar question!
The corporate India, which sells these “whitening” products have cashed in to this psychosis. In fact it has at times deliberately flamed it to sell more units and made more money.
So, as long as we are ready to accept “gori” brides only and dream of someday landing in the land of the “goras”, poor SRK will appear for Fair and Handsome and we continue to have this unreasonable fascination. If you ask me, it is not going to end soon as I believe that we are truly a racial community.
Let me end this blog with another real life experience.
One day, I got a call from an ex schoolmate of mine. I am not naming him so let’s call him A. Following is the excerpt of our call:
A: Hey Manasij. I am getting married.
I: Congrats A. That’s great news. So, what does the lucky one do?
A: She works in my office. So it is a love marriage.
I: Great. So where is she from?
A: She is a South Indian.
I: Great. I think you ………
A (cuts me in the middle hastily) : lekin wo kali nahi hai. (She is not dark).
I (speechless) : ??????
I was in charge of creating the “marriageable resume”; in English of course.
I thought I did a good job till the time my father in law (henceforth denoted as FIL) happened to review it.
My FIL went ballistic for the resume had a fatal flaw.
Following is the snapshot of the exchanges we had:
FIL (with a loud chuckle): What have you done? This is pathetic.
I (puzzled): What is wrong with it?
FIL: See you have put all statistics correct, except the complexion one.
I: Why? I have put “fair” as her complexion. (FYI, Rashmi, my sister in law, is quite fair for Indian standards)
FIL: You do not understand. Fair means, she is dusky and make up will make her fair.
I: Then do you want me to change it to “very fair”?
FIL (frustrated) : This is not an English grammar class, very fair and fair means the same. You write “gori” in the complexion.
I (flipping out) : “Gori”?
FIL (as if explaining elementary geometry to middle school kids) : Yes write “gori”. Fair, very fair, milky white these things do not convey the fact that she is fair. It is “gori” that would appeal to the imagination of people better.
I (speechless) : ???????
So, Rashmi’s marriage resume said her complexion was “gori”!
“Gori” when translated to English roughly means “Fair Caucasian female”.
Which means, without the façade of make up and beauty products’ induced effects, Rashmi is as fair as a Caucasian female.
Calling her fairness “fair” would be fairly unfair and would not fare well for the welfare of her marriageable prospects.
Alright, so why everyone seeking marriage alliances is looking for gori-s? Why it is a natural logic that “gora-pan” (fairness) is the panacea of all beauty? Isn’t it ironic that the country with one of the richest reserves of circulating black money, black market, black magic still holds everyone sway with its maniac quest of fairness in complexion? This deep, insightful, intelligent blog would uncover why. So sit back and enjoy the ride and for better understanding keep a tube of “Fair and Lovely” handy.
My thesis is very simple. We, the Indians are definitely a racist community as a whole. Therefore, we react to fairness of the skin in a nakedly racist manner. Whether the fascination of the fair skin is something we imbibed in a century of colonial rule or not is immaterial, what is for sure true that we have this fascination deeply etched into our culture. We are indeed racist.
I know we like to believe that Indians are not racist and we have always fought apartheid with passion, stood behind the nations suffering from racial discrimination, voiced our concern with fervor over ill treatments meted out to native settlers in the hands of imperialistic/colonialist iron fisted rules and blah blah…. I agree, when it comes to taking international stands, we have a reasonably respectable track record. But, when it comes to putting matters straight at home, we look the other way.
For generations, we have treated racism as a celebrated exponent of our culture. “Oh no, we just practice casteism, untouchability, communalism, marginalization, alienation….but when did we become racist?” This is what we say in our defense of not being racist. The truth is we are worse, as a society, than the ones adhering to apartheid. After all the color of the skin is on your face and you can distinguish between a fair skinned and a dark skinned. But the mass scale discrimination we show to each other as part our cultural excess baggage makes us the most racial community in the world. And, we have been quick to learn the apartheid as well.
I was married in Patna. The marriage venue was on a road which was called Gardener Road during the British Raj. It was an Indian free zone with markers erected that warned “Dogs and Indians” not allowed. The years of oppressive British rule left India its scars. Most important was the psychological scarring.
India was ruled by foreign forces in the past as well, but no community left an impact as lasting as the British. The Moghuls and Turks conquered by force and ruled by force. It never made the people have this awed image of Moghuls and Turks because they had nothing much to dazzle the natives except for their superior military might. British on the other hand, not only had that military might but captured the imagination because of their superlative administration, economics, advances in science and technology, education, governance and vision. Result was simple. The colonial India did believe that British were a better race. And then, as a by product of this inferior psyche germinated the fascination for the white skin.
So, today how big is this fascination?
According to latest reports the brand “Fair and Lovely” grossed some 500 crores (100 million USD) last year and the total Indian market for fairness products is nearly three times this value, which is a whopping 1500 crores (300 million USD). So, it is fair to assume that fairness is big buck business. So it is indeed a million dollar question!
The corporate India, which sells these “whitening” products have cashed in to this psychosis. In fact it has at times deliberately flamed it to sell more units and made more money.
So, as long as we are ready to accept “gori” brides only and dream of someday landing in the land of the “goras”, poor SRK will appear for Fair and Handsome and we continue to have this unreasonable fascination. If you ask me, it is not going to end soon as I believe that we are truly a racial community.
Let me end this blog with another real life experience.
One day, I got a call from an ex schoolmate of mine. I am not naming him so let’s call him A. Following is the excerpt of our call:
A: Hey Manasij. I am getting married.
I: Congrats A. That’s great news. So, what does the lucky one do?
A: She works in my office. So it is a love marriage.
I: Great. So where is she from?
A: She is a South Indian.
I: Great. I think you ………
A (cuts me in the middle hastily) : lekin wo kali nahi hai. (She is not dark).
I (speechless) : ??????
10 comments:
beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.. such a pity after all everyone does want a pretty looking one for a life partner.. men especially... rest everything else is inferior trait... how shallow can one get..
Nice seeing you put your thoughts out loud.
Mansij, Amen to that!
Gori simply means fair also- 'mem' is its second meaning.
Fair skin, amongnst a lot of things, is also considered a benchmark for properity and upspoilt skin due to lack of menial labour.
While westerners think tanned skin is sexy because it entails outdoor activity and consequently good health, we think that fair is good because it shows a lack of activity in the harsh sun! (This would nicely roll on to your previous post on Indian attitudes towards sports!)
I agree that somehow we give too much weight to color of the skin.Products like Fare & Lovely are testimony to that. I am not sure about the reasons behind it. To be honest, people with fair skin look more beautiful to eyes somehow (or is it me only who feels that way?) Can that be the reason? Anyway, Racism is just one form of discrimination. Indian society in general practices discrimination in number of ways as you put in your blog.
Since the fairness complex is so deeply entrenched in the Indian psyche, it is no surprise that profiles on popular Indian matrimonial website, such as Bharatmatrimony.com or Shaadi.com, almost uniformly paint women as fair - or, at the very least, "wheatish" in complexion. All want a partner who is very fair, fair, wheatish or wheatish medium - whatever that is! It is the rare individual who elects "doesn't matter" when selecting the choice of complexion in a preferred partner.
Still, almost no one admits to being dark.
The color preference seems to cut across the country's geography. Even South Indians, who are darker than North Indians, show a distinct bias toward fairness.
It promises a fairer skin in days, and more than that, a perfect life: a sure-shot at a husband, a super job and instant acceptance.
Yet one could also say it is a tube full of stereotypes, of racial undertones. Does one have to be fair to be successful or loved? The ads for the cream always depict a dark, unhappy and self-conscious woman, shut off from opportunities. The moment she starts applying the cream, she turns several shades lighter, gets the plum job and supreme self-confidence.
So where did this fairness-fetish come from? It has most frequently been blamed on the British Raj and identification with the colonizers, but historians also trace the prejudice to Vedic times, when the ideals of feminine beauty included a fair skin.
Given the surging demand, scores of imitators of Fair & Lovely have cropped up in India: Fair & Natural, Fair & Sweet, Famous & Beauty, Famous & Lovely, Face and Lovely, Fure & Beauty, Fair & Care, Fairy & Lovely, Fain & Lovely, Fresh Look, Fine Love. Hindustan Lever even offers Fair & Lovely Body Fairness Milk, which takes care of the entire body and "its gentle formulation gives fairness all year round." No point in having a fair face if the rest of your body is dark.
Indian youth seem far less prejudiced: "The new generation has been accepting of people of different colors and races, because we have been more in touch with people outside of our own color and race and I think people have started to realize that it's more than just what's on the outside and now that we have more interaction between male and female, it's been understood that it's more about the personality than what you see on the outside that defines the person, not your color."
"Calling her fairness “fair” would be fairly unfair and would not fare well for the welfare of her marriageable prospects."...nice use of "fair" vs "fare" :)
However, as we all know, the prejudice against dark complexion is not a monopoly of Indians. In the US, even as late as in the early 80s, the Ku Klux Klan have lynched African-Americans in the southern states like Alabama, North Carolina and Mississippi (remember Gene Hackman's "Mississippi Burning"?). In Montgomery, Alabama, even till mid-50s, the black people were not allowed to board a bus through the front door, which led to the famous Montgomery Bus Boycott campaign. I wonder since when men started believing that the color black represents everything bad and negative...this is evident in the English language too...the word "denigrate" (to attack the reputation of) has its root in the Latin word "nigrare", which means "to blacken". Probably the only difference between the Indian and the occidental attitudes is that in the latter society, black people do not try to "clean the dirt", and hence there is no luck for the fairness cream manufacturers :)
Dude actually, we (the) people can discriminate on everything and anything. Color is just a derivative.
Ashish - This blog though not related with the song.. but made me remember a line "HOTEL MAIN KHATA HAIN KHANA".:)Miss You !!!
Ashish - This blog though not related with the song.. but made me remember a line "HOTEL MAIN KHATA HAIN KHANA".:)Miss You !!!
@Everyone: Guys, fabulous views. Absolutely loved your thoughts! Keep them coming.....
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